GOD IS WATCHING YOU.

*TOP 10 SINS COMMITTED ON
FACEBOOK*

1. You buy some cheap underwear at a
Bend-Down-Select under market & on
facebook you wrote:"I love Gucci underwears"

*God is watching you*

2. You're a married man with 2 kids & on facebook

you always claim to be single

*God is watching you*

3. You're 21 yrs old & you're dating a man of 54
yrs your updates says "can't wait to see my baby."
Is that your baby or your daddy?

*God is watching you*

4. You're are drinking ice water & you update "I'm
drinking Johnny Walker on the rocks"
*God is watching you*

5. You're in the house watching WWE raw but you
update, "watching silver bird at the cinemas"

*God is watching you*

6. You sell retail biscuit airtime and chewing gums
or in a Mobile Money SHOP & u update "had a long
day in the office"

*God is watching you*

7. U r waiting for a taxi & u update “stuck in
traffic thank God for the air conditioner in my car"

*God is watching you*

8. U r using some fake nokia phone and you
update ur status "My laptop is slow"
*God is watching you*

9. You are in some fake slum and u update your
status, "near New York"

*God is watching you*

10. Your real name is akinboye/ atieno/or some
funny names and on facebook u call yourself Mcute
Pretty

*God is watching you*

HABA,BANK MANAGER.

A little old lady went into the Bank of
America one day carrying a bag of
money. She insists that she must speak
with the President of the bank to open
a savings account because it's a lot of
money. They finally get her into the
president's office and he asks her how
much she would like to deposit. She
says she has $165,000 and then
dumps it out of the bag onto his desk.

The president was surprised and of
course curious as to how she came by
all this cash, so he asks her. The old
lady says, "I make bets."
The president replies, "Bets? What kind
of bets?" and she says, "For example, I'll
bet you $25,000 that your balls are
square."
"Ha!" says the president,
"That's a stupid bet, you can never
win that kind of bet." The old lady
says, "So, would you like to take my bet?"
"Sure," says the president, "I'll bet
$25,000 that my
balls are not square!" The little old
lady says, "OK, but since there is a lot
of money involved is it OK with you if I
bring my lawyer with me tomorrow
at 10:00 AM to witness?" "Sure," says
the president. That night the president
got very
nervous about the
bet and spent a long time in front of
a mirror checking his balls, turning
from side to side, again and again,
thoroughly checking them out until he was
sure that there is no way his balls
are square and that he will win the
bet. The next morning at 10 AM the little
old lady appears with her lawyer at
the president's office. She introduces
the lawyer to the president and
repeats the bet, that $25,000 says the
president's balls are square. The
president agrees with the bet
again and the old lady asks him to
drop his pants so they can see. The
president does this. The little old lady
looks closely at his balls and then
asks if she can feel them. "Well, OK" says
the president, "$25 000
is a lot of
money, so I guess you should be
absolutely sure." Then he notices that
the lawyer is quietly banging his
head against the wall and he asks the old
lady, "What
is wrong with your lawyer?" She
replies, "Nothing, except I bet him
$100,000 that
by 10 AM today I'd have The Bank of
America's president's balls in my hands!"

STUPID QUESTIONS AND THEIR ANSWER

STUPID QUESTIONS AND THEIR
ANSWERS
1. Someone sees you lying down,
with your eyes closed they still
ask:- Are you sleeping? Answer:
No! I'm training to die.:)
2. When It's raining and someone
notices you going out, they ask:
Are you going out in this rain?
Answer: No,in the next one.

3. Your friend calls your home
phone and asks Where are you?
Answer: At the bus stop!
4. They see you wet coming out
from the bathroom and they still
ask Did you just have a bath?
Answer: No, I fell in the toilet
bowl.
5. You are standing right in front
of the elevator on the ground
floor and they ask:- are u Going
up? Answer: No, no, I am waiting
for my apartment to come down
and getme.
6. Your friend comes to your
house with a bunch of flowers.
And you still ask him:- are those
Flowers? Answer: No! They r
Carrots.
7. You're in the queue to buy
tickets @ the cinema, a friend
sees u & asks:- what are u doing
here? Answer: I'm here to pay
school fees.

HILARIOUS!!! Laugh it off.

A boss said to his secretary I
want to have SEX wit U I will
make it very FAST. I'll throw
$1000 on the floor, by the time
you bend down to pick it I'll be
DONE " She thought for a moment then
called her boyfriend and told him
the story.
Her boyfriend then said 2 her, do
it but "Ask him for $2000, pick up

the money very fast" So she agrees. Half an hour goes by, the
boyfriend decides to call
girlfriend, he asks, what
happened? She responds, "The
Bastard used COIN I'm still PICKING
and he is still DOING †he stuff!!!

WIN A BRAND NEW GIRLFRIEND.....LOL